Erin came in looking like she had walked out of a bush or a horror film, darting her eyes around bird-like. Her hair was long and sand-coloured and knotted and she had mud on the side of her neck. When her eyes found Lou it was as though she had found driftwood in a sea she was floundering in. Her face softened with relief.
As she picked her way between the tables, Lou thought that her face and the way she glanced around furtively seemed familiar, but she couldn't figure out why. Before she had time to wonder, two ditch-coloured eyes were looking directly into hers.
A silence immediately settled between them. The silence took out a cigarette and started to smoke.
"Um... hi", said Lou after a while. She was embarassed, she was never normally hesitant like this. And the smoke was getting in her eyes.
"Hi", said Erin.
They both stared at each other for a while. Then, before Lou could introduce herself -
"So", said Erin, "Um... I guess I should get this out of the way. I'm not completely certain about this. I don't even know if I want to be going on dates right now. I don't know if I'm... ready... if I can cope with going on dates right now". She paused. "I'm sorry, I am aware that I'm doing it anyway. And I don't want to overshare. I just wanted to tell you".
"Um, it's ok", said Lou, slightly taken aback, "I mean, I'm also not..."
Not what? Ready? Dating? Not... Erin looked at her through the two ponds in her face.
"I mean, it's ok. This doesn't have to be a date".
Lou tried to recover some composure. Being reassuring was something she was good at. She breathed deeply and got a lungful of cigarette smoke that the silence was still puffing out.
"Could you stop?" she snapped.
Erin said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you or anything. I did sort of want to talk to you."
"Not you, sorry", said Lou, "And yes, of course, I wanted to talk to you too. That's why I replied to your ad."
She paused.
"I do dream of her"
"Also," she picked up the menu, "what do you want? Coffee?"
"Tea, actually", said Erin, "if you don't mind."
"I'll have a martini", said the silence, blowing a heart shaped smoke ring through its nose.